No. 732 - THE FINE ART OF KISSING FROGS

No. 732

Jim Davidson -- NEWSPAPER COLUMN

THE FINE ART OF KISSING FROGS

Every once in a while I get to thinking there is something wrong with me. You see, I like to kiss frogs. Now, before you turn me off completely, let me tell you what I mean when I say that I like to kiss frogs. The “frog” in this case is a person who was not blessed by good or even average looks, may even be homely. Also, those people who are shabbily dressed and it’s obvious they lack self-esteem and maybe the resources to do better. Please understand that I am not talking about the top executive who leaves home for a quick trip to the grocery store without bothering to put on a suit and tie. People with high self-esteem carry themselves in a different way and they are easy to spot, because they have self-confidence.
It’s also important to point out that I am not talking about physically kissing someone. Rather, I just look them in the eye with acknowledgement that they are another human being, give them a friendly smile and, based on the circumstances, maybe a cheerful greeting. It’s been said that we should treat every person we meet as though their heart were breaking, because it very well could be. When I am out in public -- at the bank, the grocery store, the post office or anywhere my travels take me -- I see these people all the time. If they will make eye contact, which is not always the case, I will speak to them and acknowledge them as a person.
Based on what I have just shared, here is a little experiment that I would like to invite you to do the next time you are out in public. When you encounter or come across an extremely handsome or beautiful person, see if more times than not they don’t smile or greet you in a positive way. On the other hand, notice how many times ugly or homely people will not speak or make eye contact with you. I believe the latter comes as a result of many years of rejection by people who have their values in the wrong place. Now, you may not agree, but I believe it’s even more important to make these people feel special, because they are.
To be sure, race relations in our country would certainly be better if everyone did this. I believe we can also help many people who become hard and later turn to crime because they feel rejected and want to get even, with what they perceive to be society’s injustice. What I am saying here is so simple, but we can all make a difference if we will just make those special moments count as we go through the day by making eye contact, giving a warm smile and a cheery greeting, and even those little acts of kindness that can mean so much.
This is what I meant earlier when I said that I like to kiss frogs. One word of caution, however -- there is a fine art to kissing frogs. We don’t ever do it if there is a chance that these acts could be misconstrued as being aggressive or suggestive in any way. This is especially true when it comes to very attractive ladies. We have to use some common sense. I don’t go down the street honking my horn and waving at everyone I see, but rather I pick those places that are non-threatening to make others feel special. You might say, “Why bother? What you are suggesting is more trouble than it’s worth.”
Not really. I am always amazed at those people who want to get ahead, earn more money and a promotion but never understand that their attitude and personality is going to count much more than all the knowledge and expertise they can ever acquire. I see this all the time with sales clerks in stores who are earning minimum wage. They never learn the fine art of kissing frogs. A lot of people act like they were weaned on a dill pickle.
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(EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim Davidson is a public speaker and syndicated columnist. You may contact him at 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, AR 72034. To begin a bookcase literacy project visit www.bookcaseforeverychild.com. You won’t go wrong helping a needy child.)