No. 57



One day a few weeks ago I came from a Lion's Club meeting and got the shock of my life. My wife informed me that she had just returned from a trip to the liquor store. There were two primary reasons why I was so shocked. First, we live in a dry county and the nearest liquor store is in Palarm, about 15 miles away on the Faulkner-Pulaski County line. Next, I teach a couples Sunday School class and needless to say, for my wife to be seen going in or coming out of a liquor store would raise a few eyebrows and not be a good witness for the Lord.

However, I will give her credit. She took great precaution and planned it out very carefully. She didn't have much pocket money so she went to the bank to get cash so she wouldn't have to give the liquor store a check. She also took the back way in the hopes that no one would see her van, that has a paint job that sticks out like a sore thumb and everyone we know can spot a mile away.

At this point she told me the rest of the story. Because of some problems that she has been having with her arm, medical diagnosis has revealed that she might have a slight case of arthritis. One of her friends told her that Paul Harvey had been touting a concoction of gin and white raisins as something that could help to relieve the pain. Not to leave you hanging, you mix a pint of gin with a box of white raisins and then stir it once a day for 9 days. When this process is complete, you eat 10 raisins each day until they are all gone.

Because of the conversation we were both laughing and it reminded me of the fellow who had a race horse. At least he thought it was a race horse. However, when he got his horse out and ran him around the track, he would just barely get out of a slow lope. He did so want his horse to run in a race but he knew he could not win. Then he remembered reading somewhere that you could dope up a race horse and he would run one last dying race. He would really move out. At this point he got to thinking about what kind of dope to use. He finally decided to use a little "white lighting", which is to say a little moonshine whiskey. It really took some doing but he finally poured about half a gallon down his horse's throat.

About a week later he was telling a friend about the race. He said, "I wish you could have been there to see my horse run. They shot the gun and he bolted out of the gate, his tail was sticking straight out, his ears were back and when he came around the final turn dust was flying and rocks were breaking out windshields. This fella said, "well, did your horse win?" This man said, "No-o-o, my horse didn't win, but he's the happiest loser you ever saw."

In a way this story kind of applies to my wife. We can't tell whether or not the gin spiked raisins are helping her arthritis, but I can tell you this for sure, she is happier than she has ever been. Not long after this experience, I told this story at a Chamber Of Commerce banquet and a lady said to me after the meeting, "I don't know if you were watching my husband or not, but he was laughing so hard that he almost fell out of his chair."

In the Bible we read in Proverbs 17:22 "A joyful heart is good medicine. But a broken spirit dries up the bones." In my opinion, we all need to have a good laugh from time to time and to have fun and really enjoy life. I hope you are not like the lady who came up to me after another speaking engagement and said, "I want you to know, while you were telling some of those stories, I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing." (EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim Davidson is a motivational speaker and columnist. You may contact him at 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, Arkansas 72034)