No. 1220



Back in the days before I married my beautiful, talented and creative wife Janis, I had a regular, go-to-the-gym, exercise program. Now, not so much, as I seem to stay busy doing other things these days. We kid each other a good deal about this, but she says I get plenty of exercise with my current routine.
Here is the reason I am sharing this with you. A few days ago a friend gave me something titled, “God’s Plan for Aging” and it helps me see her point. Now, I am not sure who wrote this but it makes a lot of sense, and it is also quite humorous.
So, without further ado, here is “God’s Plan for Aging.” See what you think. It begins: “Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom God made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
“Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good. So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
“And here are nine important facts to remember as we grow older. #9 -- Death is the number 1 killer in the world. #8 – Life is sexually transmitted. #7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. #6 – Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eye, make him a sandwich. #5 -- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. #4 -- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. #3 -- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. #2 -- In the 1960s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. #1 -- Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.”
Well, that’s it. I am not sure how much wisdom is there, but there are some good points and it does give one something to think about, at least from my perspective. However, on a more serious note, most of us who are blessed to have good health can thank our parents for giving us good genes, when it comes to living a long life. I have said many times that I want to stick around as long as the Lord has something worthwhile for me to do, but I never want to be a burden to anyone, especially my wonderful wife.
Along these lines, I heard a preacher awhile back say that when it comes to a purpose in life, there are only two things to make sure we do – to glorify God and to serve other people. Now, that is a good measuring stick for any of us to consider: Is what we are doing with our work and our days glorifying God and does it truly benefit others?
(Editor’s Note: JIM DAVIDSON is an author, public speaker, syndicated columnist and founder of the Bookcase for Every Child project. Since its inception in 1995, Jim’s column has been self-syndicated to over 375 newspapers in 35 states, making it one of the most successful in the history of American journalism.)