No. 1142



Someone once said that a neighbor is “a person who can get to your house in less than one minute and take two hours to get back home.” When it comes to being neighborly, I heard a very amusing story about a group of country neighbors who wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a “dinner” club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbor’s house each month. Of course the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever “lapped a lip over.”

A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have “mushroom” smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can of mushrooms more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, “We aren’t going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive.” He said, “Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed.” She said, “No, I don’t want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison.” He then said, “I don’t think so. I see varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them.”

After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try. She got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some mushrooms. She brought the wild mushrooms back home, washed them, sliced them and diced them to get them ready to go over the smothered steak. Then she went out to the back porch and got Ol’ Spot’s (the yard dog) bowl, and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol’ Spot didn’t slow until he had eaten every bite. All morning long Susie watched him. The wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class. After everyone had finished they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the woman started to gossip a bit.

About this time the lady from town came in the kitchen and whispered in Susie’s ear. She said, “Mrs. Brown, Spot just died.” With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, “It’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We will pump out everyone’s stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm.”

It wasn’t long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, “I think everything will be fine now” and he left. They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time the town lady came in and said, “You know, the fellow that ran over Ol’ Spot never even stopped.”

I laughed out loud and I hope you did, too. I am grateful to my friend, the late Bob Murphy, for sharing this story with me.
(Editor’s Note: THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY – Begin your day on a positive note – 365 days for $12. This will benefit the Bookcase for Every Child project. Go to to subscribe.)