No. 1016 LADIES WITH CHURCH TYPEWRITERS!
No. 1016
Jim Davidson -- NEWSPAPER COLUMN
LADIES WITH CHURCH TYPEWRITERS!
The Scottish essayist and historian Thomas Carlyle once said of humor, “Its essence is love, its issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.” I can tell you truthfully that humor has always been a part of my life, especially since I became an adult. As they say, if you are married and have trouble seeing the humor in things, just got out those old wedding pictures. For me, the best kind of humor is self-deprecating. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, to my way of thinking we are very poor indeed.
These are some thoughts that came to the surface when I reread something a friend sent me the other day. It is titled, “Ladies with church typewriters” and some of the things these ladies typed are quite humorous. See if you don’t agree and some cause a few of those still smiles that Thomas Carlyle talked about.
1. The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals. 2 Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 3. The sermon this morning, ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
4. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. 5. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help. 6. Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. 7. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 8. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. 9. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church, so ends a friendship that began in their school days.
10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. 11. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice. 12. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 13. Place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. 14. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
15. Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. – prayer and medication to follow. 16. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. 17. This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and be prepared to sin. 18. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. 19. Low Self-Esteem support group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
20. The eighth graders will be presenting ‘Shakespeare and Hamlet’ at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 21. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Well, mercifully that is the end of the offerings. I certainly enjoyed some of them and hope you did as well. If there is one thing these rather humorous thoughts pointed up for me is that just one misplaced or wrong letter can change the whole meaning. This is true for all correspondence and communication and could serve as a reminder for each of us.
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(EDITOR’S NOTE: THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY – Begin your day on a positive note – 365 days for $12. This will benefit the Bookcase for Every Child project. Go to www.apositivemomentwithjim.com to subscribe.)
