No. 984



You no doubt have asked someone this question before, “Where have you been all my life?” The answer to this question could apply to many different areas, but the correct answer will always be “I’ve been right here,” because we can only physically be at one place at a time.
I thought of this when someone sent me a list of places they had been “in” that had a most unusual twist. I also thought of the country song “I’ve Been Everywhere” written by an Australian country singer Geoff Mack in 1959 and made popular and adapted to American cities by a number of country music singers, most notably Hank Snow and Johnny Cash.
Here is a partial list of the American states and cities where these singers say they have been, with the lead-in “I’ve been everywhere - man. I’ve been everywhere - man. Crossed the desert bare - man. I’ve breathed the mountain air - man. Of travel - I’ve had my share - man. I’ve been everywhere.”
And now for verse one. “I’ve been to: Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma, Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo, Tocapillo, Barranquilla, and Perdilla, I am killer.”
And I am proud to say that here is the first of three choruses, all I have space for, and you will get to travel to several more places. “I’ve been to: Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana, Monterey, Faraday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa, Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa (this column runs here), Tennessee, Chicopee, Spirit Lake, Grand Lake, Devils Lake, Crater Lake, for Pete’s sake.”
Earlier I told you that someone had sent me a list of places they had been “in” that had an usual twist to them. See if you don’t agree as I share them with you.
“I have been in many places but I have never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however been in Sane. They don’t have an airport. You have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, family, friends and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I am not too much on physical activity anymore.
“I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was important to stand firm. Sometimes I am in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! I may have been in Continent, and I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.”
Well, what do you think? Have you been “in” any of these places? I know I have and from my recollection, most were not very pleasant.
Now all of this may be too much sugar for a dime, but I never cease to be amazed at some of the letters I receive from readers telling me that a particular column met a real need in their life. I got a letter from a Louisiana reader recently who told me that she had just lost her husband of 60 years and her eight children had tried to cheer her up. She said nothing worked until she read my column titled, “Things my mother taught me.” She said it was so funny, especially the line, “Do you want me to stop this car” that she had a big laugh. She concluded by saying, “Thanks for a wonderful funny article.”
I believe you will agree, in today’s political and social climate, we all need to stop and laugh from time to time.
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim Davidson is a public speaker and syndicated columnist. You may contact him at 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, AR 72034. To begin a bookcase literacy project visit You won’t go wrong helping a needy child.)